According to Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis, most workplace conflicts arise from Parent–Child dynamics. Our goal should be Adult–Adult interactions: professional, logical, and responsible.
A 2019 IIPA study found:
👉 73% of civil servants face friction due to “ego misalignment” with superiors.
Maslow’s Hierarchy applies here:
👉 Bosses often operate from esteem & power needs—you must respect that space without fear or flattery.
The system is strictly hierarchical. Files, approvals, and opportunities move upward—not sideways.
ACRs (Annual Confidential Reports):
📊 Over 90% of Group A & B officers say ACRs impact motivation and opportunities directly.
Lateral accountability:
👉 If your boss underperforms, your work won’t get recognized separately. Team failure is collective.
1️⃣ Mirror Their Style
📊 As per a DOPT internal review, 60% of file rejections stem from mismatched communication styles.
👉 If they like crisp notes, avoid long files. If they like details, don’t summarize too much.
2️⃣ Anticipate Their Needs
👉 Before sending a draft, ask: “What would they ask me next?” Add that answer in advance.
3️⃣ Never Blindside Your Boss
🚫 Surprising your superior = Loss of trust
✅ Keep them in the loop, even if it's just a CC in emails.
4️⃣ Respect Over Flattery
👍 Professional respect sounds like:
“Your note was appreciated by the Department.”
👎 Not like:
“Sir, your decisions are always perfect.”
5️⃣ Pick Your Battles Wisely
📊 In bureaucratic settings, disagreement is noted only when it is:
Evidence-backed
Policy-relevant
Presented respectfully
Bureaucracy in India thrives on protocol and respect.
👉 Always follow chain of command. Never skip your boss unless approved.
👉 Always greet. A simple “Good Morning, Sir/Madam” travels far.
Body language matters:
📊 A 2020 survey in Psychology of Administration found:
Non-verbal signals affect perception more than file quality.
🧳 An IFS officer who copied Joint Secretary on weekly email briefs got chosen for deputation. Reason: "Visibility without noise."
🗂️ An Under Secretary began every noting by asking:
“What would my Additional Secretary expect to see here?”
🔼 Her notes were eventually cited at Cabinet level.
🧠 “In the Government of India setup, your IQ gets you in,
💡 your EQ keeps you moving.
🤝 Learning to align with your superior isn’t bootlicking—it’s strategic harmony.
📈 Manage upward, not with fear 😟, but with insight 🔍.
🚀 That's not survival—that's smart service.”
Name: Mr. R.K. Sharma
Designation: Under Secretary
Ministry: Housing and Urban Affairs
Boss: Joint Secretary-level officer known for being result-driven, strict, and very particular about presentation in files and punctuality.
When Sharma joined the ministry, he realized:
His Joint Secretary rarely appreciated anyone openly.
Files from other sections were often returned multiple times due to "improper summaries" or "lack of policy context".
Most colleagues maintained a formal distance, and interactions were minimal.
Result? Team morale was low, and working under that officer was considered a “cold posting.”
1️⃣ Studied His Boss's Style
He collected 5 previously approved notes by the JS and identified:
Short sentences
Clear policy references (usually from MoHUA guidelines or PIB notes)
Action-oriented tone
2️⃣ Preemptive Clarity
Before submitting a file, he’d write the summary in a 3-point bullet with:
Relevant clause from the policy
Action needed
Suggested timeline
3️⃣ Invisible Respect
He never flattered.
But every time he submitted a file, he added a small note:
“This note follows the structure suggested by you in File No. XYZ.”
4️⃣ Stakeholder Mapping
If a file involved another department or state, he would attach a matrix of stakeholders, saving the JS time on follow-up.
Recognition of Need for Control:
Sharma understood that his boss needed mental control over files. Providing structured information gave that control.
Adult–Adult Transaction (Eric Berne’s TA):
He maintained professionalism without slipping into submissiveness.
Respecting Hierarchical Culture:
By never skipping the JS and always keeping them in the loop, he respected the system.
Outcome - Details
📈 File Acceptance Rate - His section had the highest file approval rate (above 95% on first submission).
📋 Additional Responsibilities - Assigned charge of Smart Cities project coordination — a high-visibility task.
🗣️ Recognition - During an inter-ministerial meeting, the JS remarked:
“Mr. Sharma's notes reduce my decision-making time by half.” |
| ✈️ Foreign Training Nomination | Nominated for a 2-week urban planning program in Singapore—rare for Under Secretaries. |
"Mr. Sharma never praised his boss unnecessarily.
He aligned with expectations, anticipated needs, and respected the decision-making chain.
This was not manipulation—it was professional maturity in a complex, layered system like ours."
“He didn’t just work under his boss—he worked with his boss. That’s the mindset we all need to thrive in government service.”
📝 Extremely detail-oriented; notices commas, typos, alignment, and footnotes in files.
Traits: Perfectionist, strict on format, values process over speed
Common line: “File should speak for itself. I shouldn't have to ask.”
Tip to align: Double-check your drafts. Never send incomplete or vague submissions.
🚪 Keeps a low profile. Minimal communication, little feedback, but watches everything.
Traits: Quiet, observant, avoids conflict but judges silently
Common line: “Noted.” (followed by silence)
Tip to align: Document everything. Send email summaries. Don’t assume silence is approval.
🧾 Takes frequent instructions from political bosses or ministers, often informally.
Traits: Result-driven, may bend rules under pressure
Common line: “Minister wants this by evening.”
Tip to align: Be flexible. Know the rules—and how to defend them calmly when pressured.
🕒 Thrives in emergencies. Loves last-minute tasks, high-pressure meetings, late-night calls.
Traits: Reactive, energetic, deadline-focused
Common line: “I need this in 30 minutes. No excuses.”
Tip to align: Be available, solution-oriented, and fast. Build trust as a go-to person.
🧠 Wants to approve every letter, email, or word that leaves the office.
Traits: Control-seeking, low trust, often insecure
Common line: “Why did you send this without checking with me?”
Tip to align: Always take approvals—even for small things. Keep records.
👨🏫 Genuinely invests in your growth, explains policies, gives career advice.
Traits: Approachable, fair, senior but humane
Common line: “Let me explain why we do it this way.”
Tip to align: Learn actively. Don’t waste the opportunity. Deliver quality work in return.
🎲 Never takes a clear stand. Avoids controversy, prefers safe decisions.
Traits: Risk-averse, image-conscious, plays safe
Common line: “We’ll take a view after others submit.”
Tip to align: Avoid bold or confrontational language. Package suggestions as “options.”
📤 Hands off most of the work. Relies heavily on juniors.
Traits: Empowering but often absent or distracted
Common line: “You draft it. I’ll approve.”
Tip to align: Use this trust wisely. Be accountable—your file is the final word.
📘 Every action must have a reference. Every note must cite a circular or manual.
Traits: Legalistic, rigid, compliance-driven
Common line: “Under which rule are you proposing this?”
Tip to align: Always quote rules, precedents, and similar file references.
🗣️ Popular, humorous, well-networked—knows how to “work the room.”
Traits: Charismatic, smart, media-savvy, politically sharp
Common line: “Let’s handle this smartly.”
Tip to align: Keep substance ready. They’ll handle optics—you handle the groundwork.
“Understanding your boss’s type isn’t flattery—it's professional navigation. In the Indian Government setup, your ability to adapt without losing integrity is what builds lasting trust—and long-term success.”
"Getting Along with the Boss – Govt of India Expectations 🇮🇳"
👨💼👩💼 1. Respect & Professionalism
Show respect to your boss’s position 👔
Be loyal to the system, not just the person 🏛️
Follow lawful instructions ✅
💬🤝 2. Clear Communication
Speak openly but politely 🗣️
Share facts honestly 📊
Disagree respectfully, not emotionally ⚖️
📜 3. Follow Conduct Rules
Be courteous 🧑⚖️
No gossip 🙊
No insubordination 🚫
👥 4. Be a Team Player
Support the team’s goals 🧩
Adjust to your boss’s working style 🔄
Don’t let ego interfere ❌🧠
🔐 5. Confidentiality
Keep official matters confidential 🤐
Don’t leak internal discussions 🚫📤
🌟 6. Initiative with Info
Take initiative 💡
But always keep your boss in the loop 🔄📩
⚠️ 7. Support in Crisis
Help manage tough situations 🔥🧯
Don’t abandon ship when things go wrong 🚢⚓
🧘 8. Stay Professional
Keep personal bias out 👓
Even if you don’t “click” with the boss, stay civil & efficient 🤖💼
✅ Summary:
Be respectful, honest, professional, and a team player.
Serve the institution first – not personalities.
Problem: One day friendly, next day irritable 😤🙂
Why You Get Stuck: You don’t know how to approach or what to say.
✅ How to Handle:
Stay calm and neutral 🧘♂️
Learn to read the room before speaking 👀
Speak briefly and to the point 🗣️✅
Avoid taking things personally 🙅
Problem: Boss expects replies or work at odd hours 🕐
Why You Get Stuck: You fear saying no but feel burned out 😓
✅ How to Handle:
Manage expectations tactfully 🗓️🧠
Politely set boundaries when possible: "Sir/Ma’am, will update first thing in the morning."
Prioritize clear communication early on 🔄
Problem: You notice an error but fear pointing it out 🫢
Why You Get Stuck: You want to be loyal but also accurate
✅ How to Handle:
Use soft language: “Just a small point for your kind attention...” 🧑⚖️
Correct in private, never in front of others 🤫
Keep tone respectful and factual 🎯
Problem: You have good ideas but feel ignored
Why You Get Stuck: You don’t want to seem pushy
✅ How to Handle:
Time your suggestions well ⏰
Use polite written notes or sticky reminders ✍️📌
Let seniors or trusted officers echo your point if needed 🔁
Problem: You get work that’s not part of your role (personal errands, etc.) 🧾🛍️
Why You Get Stuck: Fear of refusal harming your rapport
✅ How to Handle:
Know the limits of your role (but don’t quote rules rudely) 🧾
Say “I’ll try my best, but urgent office tasks may get delayed” ⚖️
Keep focus on core responsibilities
Problem: Public scolding or rude tone
Why You Get Stuck: Want to avoid disrespect but feel humiliated
✅ How to Handle:
Stay silent in the moment 🙊
Approach later in private: “I may have misunderstood your expectation; may I clarify?”
Never retaliate or gossip 👎
Problem: Boss shifts blame on staff when facing pressure 🔥
Why You Get Stuck: You feel unfairly treated
✅ How to Handle:
Keep a written record of key decisions & instructions 📁
Use polite reminders: “As per your earlier direction on file dated...” 🗓️
Maintain dignity without being defensive
✅ Always show loyalty to the post, not the person
✅ Be emotionally intelligent, not reactive
✅ Document politely, speak respectfully, and serve professionally 🙌